Writings By Dawn

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Anonymous asked: Dawn, it's pistonhead. You know I would have liked to have patched things up with you after what happened. You blocked me though so I never got the chance and I now no longer use aim. If you ever feel like you might need a friend you can email me on yahoo, my username on there is the same as aim.

You can always unblock me from FB. I can’t remember your AIM name, so you can add my yahoo account. TeaEarlGreyHot4U

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I Don’t Want This

Screaming in my head

Rage unchecked

The urge to scratch

Skittering across the room

——-

Piercing stare

A soul bared

Wild abandon

Before a retreat

Solitude that defines

Causes decay

——-

An empty bottle

Half full pack

Smoke clouding the world

Deep in thought

——-

An itching need

Twitching

Pacing

Paranoia 

Controling thought and action

——-

Keep it all hidden

Noone must see

Noone must know

——-

Familiar desire

To run

Change the scenery

Shake up my view

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Barren Landscape

Locked in

Blinded by light

Twirling around

And around

Searching for the door

But all I find

Are walls 

Closing in fast

——-

I hear a voice

Calling me over

With my bare hands

I begin to scratch

Pound

Beat down the walls

——-

A sliver of freedom

A glimpse 

Of the outside world

Appears at eye level

——-

I peek through

Hope swelling 

Heavy in my chest

But all I see 

Is a single sword

Standing tall 

In a barren landscape

——-

I stop

Cradle my bleeding hands

Sit 

And wait

Hope shattered but not dead

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There are some things so beautiful that I just want to touch them in the hopes of carrying a piece of them with me for eternity. Sometimes, however, once contact is made the beauty corrupts and I’m left with a handful of ashes.

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Anonymous asked: I wanted to know if you're doing o.k.. "seen" you on wp from time to time and always felt I could relate to your writings. I think you're a good writer. I like the design of your blog - well done. That's about it except, hello from an artist and sometimes poet, older than you, trying to hold it (heart, me, kids, art) together and be grateful but often kind of not.

Thank you! I’m doing okay. Been quite pensive lately. I have a lot in my head, but can’t seem to get it out right now.

I do hope you manage to hold it together. I respond to PMs on WP, if you ever wanted to talk. Just FYI. :-)

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I sit on the edge of my bed, as a friend rests carelessly against a nearby wall. He eyes me with interest and asks “Why do you remain single?”

“One cannot give away a heart they do not posses,” is a simple an answer as any, I think. It does not seem to satisfy them, though. 

“Where does your heart lay if not in your hands?”

I stop and consider him before answering. “My heart belongs to a distant memory. A brief moment in time, gone but never forgotten. A boy that once lay beside me, that I once knew far better than now.”

“Why haven’t you taken it back?” he wants to know.

“From time to time, I wander down the pathways in my mind to the past to retrieve it. It always hides, though, as if to say ‘I belong here with him.’ Trying to reason with my heart is an exercise in futility. You see, every time I go back to let go, I am reminded of just how worthy this boy is of having my heart. Perhaps some day my heart will grow weary of the wait as it beats softly, breaking just a little more as time wears on. That will be the day I will once again hold my own heart in my hands, and I will be able to give it to another. You shouldn’t worry about me, though. Most of the time I do not mind. The truth is I’m okay alone.”

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If You Feel The Need

Don’t you know baby

Deception is not the key

Will get us nowhere

Devalue our gains

——-

‘Cause baby

If you feel the need

To pull my strings

What you get is not real

Play with my affections

And you’ll get burned

——-

I’m not here to deceive

Not here to play this game

I may not say much

But when I do

You better listen up

Because baby

I won’t repeat myself

——-

I’ve got nothing to hide

But everything to lose

So don’t you go

Telling all these lies

I see right through

——-

‘Cause baby

If you feel the need

To pull my strings

What you get is not real

Play with my affections

And you’ll get burned

——-

I’ve got a life to live

Don’t need you here

Playing on my mind

Saying you want me

When all that’s in your heart

Is evil intention

I can stand alone

Don’t need you near

——-

‘Cause baby

If you feel the need

To pull my strings

What you get is not real

Play with my affections

And you’ll get burned

———————————

Note: This one is lyrics to a song I’m working on.

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Paranoia

I smile through the sadness

Never talk of the pain

Get knocked down

Pick myself up again

——-

I push

Shove

Claw my way 

Through the crowd

An endless sea of vultures

Just waiting for their chance

A crack in the armor

A way in 

To corrupt 

Cause decay from within

——-

I keep my sanity

Under lock and key

As I scratch away

Suppressing the urge to scream

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Love and Hate

I see beauty all around

Presented to me

On a chipped and tarnished platter

 ——-

A beast within

Growing steadily

Unwanted

But cherished

 ——-

A soft caress

Brutal attack

A reflection of self

 ——-

Obsession and desire

Pulses through my being

Stirs me

Repels me

Leaves me standing alone

 ——-

Wonder and confusion

Pulls me 

Reminds me

Of forgotten communication